“Just,” “sorry,” and “actually” are the three most common verbal softeners in professional speech — and each one carries a different cost. “Just” minimizes whatever follows it (“I just wanted to check” signals hesitation before you’ve said anything). “Sorry to bother you” positions you as an interruption before the request has landed. “Actually” implies surprise at a fact, often implying you expected the opposite. Leanse’s 2015 corpus analysis of professional presentations found that in both cases — with or without softeners — listeners rated softener-free speakers as more confident and commanding.

When to use Just · sorry · actually

Flag softeners when you have standing to make a direct request, assertion, or correction. Preserve them when they are doing genuine social work — apologizing for a real mistake or softening a face-threatening act.

Sending a request via email or Slack (“Just wanted to follow up…”)
Opening a question in a meeting (“Sorry, maybe this is a dumb question…”)
Correcting incorrect information (“Actually, the number is…”)
Making a direct ask (“I just need five minutes of your time”)
Any moment where you discount your request before you've made it

How to use it

Replace “just” with the direct request. “I just wanted to check in on the status” → “Can you give me a status update?” The directness is not rude; “just” was not making it polite, it was making it smaller.
Replace “sorry to bother you” with gratitude or nothing. “Sorry to bother you — quick question” → “Quick question.” Gratitude positions the other person as generous; the apology positions you as an interruption.
Replace “actually” with the fact. “Actually, we launched in March” → “We launched in March.” The correction stands on its own. “Actually” implies you expected them to say something else.
Audit Slack and email first. Softeners are easier to catch in writing than in speech. Train the habit in writing and it starts to carry over.

Example

Them

(three days after you sent a proposal with no response)

On your HUD

Can you give me your read on the proposal before Friday? I want to make sure we have time to address anything before the deadline.

What Kennan would surface in this moment, in the same first-person bullet format as the in-app HUD.

Common pitfalls

Removing genuine apologies. “Sorry” is correct when you have done something wrong. Removing it from real apologies makes you sound defensive.
Removing hedges that signal genuine uncertainty. “I'm not sure this is the right call, but…” is accurate epistemic humility. Stripping it makes you sound overconfident.
Overcorrecting into curtness. Directness and curtness are not the same. “Could you give me a status update?” is direct and professional. “Status?” is curt.

Where it comes from

Leanse (2015) · Schumann & Ross, Psych Sci (2010) · Schumann, Ritchie & Forest, PSPB (2023)

In your next meeting

Kennan watches for the conversational pattern this framework addresses and surfaces a first-person line you can read off your HUD, in the same shape as the example above. Frameworks are receipts; the user-facing output is a sentence, not a citation.